Courtney Sloan is a wife, a sister, a Christian, an engineer, a writer, and a Disney fan. She currently lives in California with her husband, step-daughter, and two mixed-breed hounds.
I was first diagnosed with depression in 2012. At that time, the official ruling was “moderate, cyclical depression.” This was code for: it’s not that bad, we expect it to get better, and we have a pretty good idea of what might be causing it.
Over the next decade, my experience with depression varied. January and February were often difficult months, full of cold weather and depression “slumps.” I briefly lived on the other side of the country, without any of my support network. I also had many good times, including seeing my sister get married and meeting my husband!
In early 2023 my diagnosis was updated to “treatment-resistant major depression disorder.” This was the official confirmation of what I had known for years: my depression was getting steadily worse. I had been in a sustained depressed state for more than 3 years, despite using talk-therapy, behavioral activation, and medication to manage my condition. By February 2023, I was no longer able to work or take basic care of myself.
Luckily, I was able to try a new treatment called TMS. This, in combination with other factors, helped me turn a corner. Now, 8 months later, I am back at work, writing again, and a full participant in my own life once more.
My journey has been long, and filled with mountains and valleys. I learned a lot about myself. More importantly I learned a lot about mental health in general, and depression in particular. I hope that by sharing some of what I’ve discovered, I can help others to find the same relief and victory that I have.